


Stay

by Mount_Seleya



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Episode Fix-it: s08e04 The Last of the Starks, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Life-Affirming Sex, Not Beta Read, POV Brienne of Tarth, Past Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Season/Series 08, Self-Hatred, Showverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:29:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mount_Seleya/pseuds/Mount_Seleya
Summary: Sometimes love is a choice. That doesn't make it easy. Or, Jaime remains at Winterfell, and Brienne tries to pick up the pieces.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt to try to process my feelings over the Jaime/Brienne outcome in S8 and my attendant regret over *that* plot point in _The Book of the Mother_.

Morning bled through the window. Dust-motes danced in the silver shaft. Jaime was a still shape beside Brienne. His back was turned toward her, flickering orange light from the hearth gilding the square, bearded hinge of his jaw. The furs rose with the tide of his breath. He was awake. They'd been sharing a bed long enough for her to tell.  
  
The bedstand creaked as Brienne shifted closer to Jaime. She slung an arm around him and pulled him against her. Pressed her hand to his chest. Wiry hair brushed against her palm. The drum of his heart pounded hare-swift.  
  
" _Don't_ ," Jaime said at last, a wet, wounded rasp.  
  
And, in that instant, Brienne knew. Guilt twisted its cruel knife in her heart. _Stay_ , she had pleaded with him that night. Then, when he'd wheeled around to mount his horse, _I love you_. She had stayed him with those three simple words. Caught him like a fish on a line. But she'd known what she was asking of him. Known what the price would be.  
  
"Did a raven come with news from the capital?" Brienne broached after a long silence.  
  
"No," Jaime returned. "I can feel it." The ghost of a sigh shuddered out. "A part of me is gone."  
  
Brienne nosed into Jaime's neck. Pressed a kiss to his cheek. Her lips slipped on hot tears. Salt filled her mouth. "You're here," she whispered, the steel of certainty girding the softness of her voice.  
  
"I should've died with her," Jaime said in a hollow creak.  
  
Brienne knew the truth behind the words. Of the hatred Jaime bore for himself. That death was a desert he craved. _You deserve to live_ , she wanted to say. _You have a good heart. Your sister didn't. You couldn't have saved her._  
  
The words withered away. They could only deepen the hurt. This man could be charred bones in a shattered city. Empty pages in a white book; a black chasm in her chest. And yet he was here, now, living warmth in her arms. His haunted heart tupping beneath the shield of her hand, breath skittering out of his mouth in tiny, hitching sobs.  
  
"You needed to survive," Brienne told Jaime once another span of silence had passed.  
  
"I needed to survive?" Jaime shot back, anger crushing his voice to raw grit. "I did terrible things. For _her_."  
  
Brienne blew out a breath. "Yes." Her lips met the shell of Jaime's ear. "I know." She ran her hand across his chest. _How many years before the poison leaves your heart?_ "You told me once that we don't choose whom we love."  
  
She expected a bitter laugh. A cruel, cutting retort. Instead, he gave her another silence, and then at last he shifted. Rolled until she was pinned beneath him, the long, lean weight of his body bearing her down upon the thin mattress. Tears shivered in his blue eyes as he looked down at her. His lips were a flat line in the grizzled brass of his beard.  
  
"I chose you," Jaime confessed, the ragged phantom of a breath.  
  
And then his lips sealed hers, his tongue nudging into her mouth, drinking in her soft groan. Her fingers tangled in the thick, night-mussed shag of his hair, pulling him against her body as she arched off the bed and parted her legs.  
  
He eased inside her slowly. The sweet ache of it sang through her flesh. He was always so careful with her. Even that first, fevered tumble had been a careful thing, years of longing kindled into passion in the wake of battle. They lay together for an age, lips waging a slow, gentle war as the bustle of the castle rousing filtered into the room.  
  
At last Jaime tore his mouth away. He nuzzled into the arc of Brienne's neck. The point of his nose touched her ear. " _Brienne_ ," he whispered through the quavering choke of his tears. "I love you, Brienne. Gods, I love you."  
  
"Make love to me, then," Brienne said, palms riding down the length of Jaime's back.  
  
Jaime's lips claimed Brienne's as he fell into a slow rhythm. Every halting rock made white sparks burst in her loins. His arms slotted between her back and the bed. Drew her against him as he moved within her. She knew his love for her was a clutched blade, a beautiful, wounding thing, and yet he clung to her with a lion's ferocity all the same.  
  
When Brienne crested, she bit her lip to stifle her cry, nails digging into Jaime's back. Jaime rolled into her, steady and gentle as sea lapping against shore, cradling her head with his hand, pants puffing against her neck.  
  
Brienne caught Jaime's hips when he moved to pull out. He jerked his head back and gaped down at her. She dipped her chin in a tiny nod, and then he buried his face in her neck once more, smothering his groan as he found release. Heat pulsed within her. Her fingers curved around the back of his head. Held him as he shuddered and sobbed.  
  
"If I've put a child in you…" Jaime faltered once their ardour had cooled.  
  
"We'll wed in the godswood, by Lady Stark's leave," Brienne said.  
  
"You think Sansa Stark will let me stay here? At _Winterfell?_ Your oath to her won't undo the war. I'm still a Lannister." Jaime stroked Brienne's flank. His voice was a low gravel drag. "My family has slain more wolves than any."  
  
Brienne said nothing. Just petted Jaime's sweat-damp hair where his head lay upon her chest. A heavy silence settled between them. Morning spread its silver fingers through the room. They had fought for the dawn. For a new day, and a new life. Perhaps they'd won.


End file.
